22

Don't let my baby-faced and youthful exterior fool you, I've just turned 22 on April 1st.  Sorry if a certain line of Taylor Swift infiltrated your mind, she's been around for the whole weekend for me too. 

 Lavender from Crown Flora Studios from Ethan

Lavender from Crown Flora Studios from Ethan

 

I've felt rattled ever since the day I turned 20 because while 18 is technically the legal age of being an adult, 20 just seems like the real adult age. They still treat you like a child at 18 for the most part. I've never liked the idea of growing older, even though it's a privilege robbed of others too soon. But every time I feel a weird heart beat, throbbing pain in my wrists, numbness in my fingers to the elbow, pain in my back and shoulders, and the list goes on--I can't help but wonder why I'm having what I can only assume are first signs to bigger problems. I can't imagine the invisible internal stuff I haven't felt yet. Sometimes I wonder why my soul chose such a weak physical vessel to settle in. But then I remind myself I've made it this way with my choices...

22 is going to be a big year.  I can feel it like a sailor who squints at the horizon and up at the distant clouds and knows something will happen. Graduation exhibition, graduation, a month and a half of travelling, then a life without school-- and then what? I've made a list of goals for 2018.

 

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Maybe I'm trying to put those goals out there so that I can be accountable for them. Anyway, onwards in life another year older. Hopefully, another year wiser.